Metablogging

Spring Quarter 2010, Week 1 (March 29 - April 3)

Next week I’m going to start writing in my blog again, so now’s the time to map out how the first few entries are going to go. Since I hardly wrote in the winter quarter, I need to use flashbacks to tell the story of what happened during all that time. How can I make these flashbacks relevant to the present timeline? Not that that really matters, because if anything, I can just forcefully tack a totally unrelated flashback to some entry like I did with Photo Album 2000. God, what a shitty entry.

What I should really think about now, though, is how the final entry of the spring season will look like. I admit, me complaining to an imaginary person about how much I hate gay “cocksucking faggots” followed by yet another depressing flashback of Trung and me isn’t the best way to end a season; that is what happens when I don’t plan ahead. By the end of spring, Ray and I will still be together, and I imagine that I’ll finally have a new, paying job by then, most likely at Urban Outfitters, and that I’ll hit my goal of weighing at least 160 pounds. I want my weight to be a big motif this season by constantly updating the blog with the progress toward my goal. However, I’ll probably realize that, once I hit 160 pounds, I’m still not going to be happy with myself because that won’t change me being gay, and that can make yet another, “WAAAH WHY AM I GAY” post since everyone seems to love those. What I learn in the end will be that my happiness won’t come from my weight and self-image, but rather, my amazing boyfriend. We’ll be celebrating our five month anniversary by the end. Aw ok, looks like my spring quarter will have a happy ending.

Week 2 (April 4 - 10)

Damn it, looks like no job from Urban Outfitters for sure now. I really wanna develop the job storyline and I need the experiences of starting at a new work place to drive it like how starting at the Education Academy drove it in the fall. I’m going to bore what little readers I have if I constantly update with, “I really wanna get that new longboard/ Nikes/ jeans but I have no job!—INSERT IRRELEVANT FLASHBACK.” I’m really lazy though, but I think I’ll continue my job hunt for the sake of this blog.

Week 3 (April 11 - 17)

Ray and I broke up last week. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I’m here in the back of English class, tapping my notebook with my pen and wondering what I’m going to do. I need to completely remap my entries and the final entry for this season. My teacher’s lecturing about something boring right now, so I’m going to jot down some ideas.

“When reading Hamlet, I want you guys to examine the play from the perspective of narratology,” my teacher rambles. “Narratology is the study of how narrative structure affects our perspective on the world. Life is difficult to grasp because, in reality, it’s so chaotic and random...”

I figure that I’ll be sad for the next few weeks and a bunch of my entries will focus on me being emo, so emo that I will reject guys interested in me because I’m not ready to “move on” yet. But, in the last entry of this season, I will realize how much I like whoever’s trying to get at me at that time and finally find the strength to move on. Cliffhanger onto the summer season with a kiss! Ok, this sounds like a good final entry. Alright, Plan B! I’ll go hit on some cuties in my psychology class.

“...Things happen for no reason, and we do things for no reason or reasons that we don’t understand,” my teacher continues. “We have a subconscious desire to fit our lives into a sort of narrative structure, into a story in order to make sense of things and find meaning and symbolism in otherwise meaningless events. We’re always looking for progress, a tidy ending, or ‘closure.’ We get so many influences from TV, film, and fiction so we seek the same narrative coherence to our lives that the characters in these works have. This is something that everybody does every day. Everybody, every day. It might not be in written form; it might be spoken or simply in the way we think and make decisions.”

Man, my teacher is such a lesbian. I can’t stop staring at her short lesbian hair.

Week 5 (April 25 - May 1)

I think I made out with enough random guys the past two weeks to completely void the meaning and impact behind what would’ve been my Plan B for a final entry. I could still keep quiet and not write about my hook up adventures so readers will still buy the final entry, but for me it goes just a little bit outside my tolerance for breaking journalistic ethics.

Our Souvenirs was a good entry, but I know that I definitely need to include what happened after I said “Maybe I’ve been wrong for the last entire two years” in a flashback later on. Maybe as the flashback for this season’s final entry? There we go, that will be my new final entry. Plan C! Since this flashback is about me making the wrong sacrifice, in the entry’s present timeline I’ll be making the right sacrifice! Giving up my stubbornness for friendship? For Trung? For a kid at work? Oh, hopefully I’ll run into one of my students outside of work and get involved in his personal life somehow. Great plot device. I can rely only on so few of them.

Week 6 (May 2 - 8)

Ok, my dance storyline hasn’t been going anywhere, probably because I haven’t been dancing as much as I had hoped. I’ve been working out a lot instead, haven’t I? Oh, maybe that can become the new plot for the dance storyline: I choose working out over dance even though dance makes me a lot happier. Sounds good; hopefully my readers will automatically forget the original plot I opened up for the dance storyline at the beginning of this season.

Week 9 (May 23 - 29)

I need a Plan D for this season’s final entry. I know how it will go. It will present my life in shambles, because that’s how my fucking life is going right now. I’m no where near 160 pounds, I still have no job and make fifteen bucks a week from my tutoring job, nothing’s going on in the dance world, I’m pissed off at Ranier about Sockhop tickets, I still hate all gays, I’m still such an effing skank when I thought I finally stopped, and I haven’t gotten into any extraordinary situations that will end in three weeks with me making a decision so difficult that it will be accompanied by a dramatic orchestral sound track in my head. Nothing’s really changed at all. But the final entry will be so dark that I’m sure the readers will be left thinking, “Oh shiiiit, what’s going to happen next?”

Finals Week (June 6 - 12)

I need a Plan E. Because, I guess my life has been making a complete 180 lately. Well, not 180, maybe 110. I’m probably not going to have the epic ending that I hoped for, but it’s something at least. I didn’t see any of this coming. Some long time conflicts will be resolved, but not all. I still have no idea how the final entry will turn out, however. I’ll leave it up to fate. Hopefully everything will be fine.