The Activist

Forty students crowded the room. Forty. I did not expect this many at all. Once everyone settled down, I stood up in the front, rolling up a newsletter in my hands and trying to force a confident smile across my face.

“Hello everyone,” I began, “and welcome to the first Gay Straight Alliance meeting of the 2007-2008 school year! In case you don’t know me, I’m your president, Brian Dinh.”

- “The First GSA Meeting,” written September 14th, 2007 (revised).

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This past Thursday, I had my catch-up lunch with Cameron, just as I had promised him. We caught up on a lot of things: our love lives (his is surprisingly going better than mine), all the times he’s moved this past school year (three different places), school, future plans, old friends, new friends, parties, and what dropping E is like (he led this discussion).

We talked for a good hour before we had to go to our next classes. Toward the end of the conversation, he brought up a campus club party taking place Friday, hosted by Irvine Queers the following night. (“Club” as in school organization, not as in nightclub.) It would celebrate “breaking the silence” at the end of the Day of Silence, and I told him it sounded like something worth checking out.

“Is there going to be anyone I know?”

“Some people from our hall last year might be coming!” He answered.

“Alright, well, even if they don’t, I’m sure I’ll have fun anyway.”

“Yeah of course you will! I’M GOING TO DRESS UP AS LADY GAGA!”

“Really? Which of her outfits?”

“Lemme give you a hint!” He reached into his backpack, pulled something out, and slammed it on the table right under my eyes. It was a roll of caution tape.

Friday night at nine. Couldn’t possibly want to miss it.

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After mapping out what was in store for the 2007-2008 school year (socials with GSAs from other schools, National Coming Out Day in October, Day of Silence in April, and Gay Day at Great America), I went into what I wanted out of the club. “I think this school is already pretty liberal, but I think there is a level beyond that that we can achieve. I don’t want other students to look at this club and think, ‘Okay, this one must be gay, that one is straight, and that one is probably bi.’ I want them to look at this club and think, ‘Wow, they’re all human.’”

Towards the end of the lunch period, I performed my “powerful” and “motivational” demonstration that I had started to think about since the beginning of July. I held up and offered a free $20 bill to anyone who wanted it, and of course everyone shot their hands up and complimented my clothes. Ignoring their calls, I began to abuse the $20 bill. I trampled it and stuck a post-it note on it that read, “FAGGOT.” I raised the beaten $20 bill and asked if anyone still wanted. Someone said my hair looked really sexy today.

I continued to label the bill with more post-its: “SLUT,” “WHITE TRASH,” “PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A HUMAN BEING,” and I stomped on it a few more times. People still wanted it. Good. This was where my little pep talk came in.

“Everybody still wants this twenty-dollar bill, because even after all this stuff that I’ve done to it, it’s still worth twenty dollars right? I want you and all people out there to think of themselves as this twenty-dollar bill. You are all worth something valuable, and there is no way that that value can ever go down. You might get trampled, you might get beaten, you might get labeled and called things you would never want to be called. You might feel terrible and like the loneliest person in the word, but like this twenty-dollar bill, everybody still loves you. Like this twenty-dollar bill, which has gone through so much, your value is indiminishable and immune to what others may say or do.”

At 1:05, lunch ended and everyone shuffled out of the rooms, congratulating me on giving GSA a great kickoff. What brightened my day even more was the sign-in sheet: there were over 40 names on it. I was a happy, but the number just made me even more nervous. Sustaining that many members throughout the next 9 months was definitely going to be a challenge.

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The numbers did die, but we did manage to pull off some amazing things. During the month of National Coming Out Day, October, we got a page full of coming out stories, including mine, published in the school newspaper. And on the Day of Silence in April, I didn’t stay silent because I thought the idea of being silent was stupid.

Being more effective and smarter than the mainstream fags, I actually spoke for gay tolerance and the whole cause at the beginning of each of my classes, and then I distributed safety pins with upside-down rainbow triangles that GSA had made the previous week. Other participants from GSA did the same with their classes too, and during lunch, we gave out free otter pops to whoever would support our cause and pin a rainbow triangle to themselves.

By the end of the day, every clique had at least several students with the rainbow triangles pinned to their clothes or backpacks. Jocks, nerdy Asians, cool Asians, cheerleading bitches, emo kids, beaners, etc. It was impossible to get a rainbow triangle out of sight for even a second. A lot of people kept the triangles pinned to their backpacks the following weeks. I don’t want to turn this entry into a Day-of-Silence-is-fucking-stupid rant, but my way was a lot fucking better. People with rainbow triangles are a lot more visible than people shutting the fuck up all day.



At about 8:50 Friday night, I spent five minutes debating whether or not to go and then realized that I could not see myself surrounded by a bunch of queer activists. I didn’t go to Cameron’s club party and unfortunately missed out on his caution tape ensemble.

So looking at myself the way I was my senior year and the way I am now, I guess the obvious question is, why the change?