Those Doors

At Breakthrough, two teachers are assigned one crew of about 8 or 9 students to stick with for the entire summer. We eat together, sit together during all school meetings, and meet up at the end of the day. Originally, my crew, the robots, had 8 students, but we’re now down to 7.

We had Victor, a returning 8th grader, the same one who, at the winter reunion, asked me the awkward question of whether or not I was dating Trung. He went through the first week seemingly fine. He sometimes complained about having too much homework, and he was disappointed that he didn’t get me for writing again. And suddenly, out of no where, he stopped showing up starting week 2. Eventually, at the end of the week Breakthrough’s dean of Students Jessica broke the news that he officially dropped out because he “wasn’t feeling it” and there was “more homework than last year.”

My co-crew leader Sophi and I immediately felt some sense of guilt, but I think I felt it a little more personally because I’ve known him longer.

Going from 7th grade to 8th grade—of course the homework load is going to get a little heavier. But I like to think that the fun non-academic aspects of Breakthrough far outweigh the academic aspects (not to say that the academic aspects can’t be fun too). So, did I not provide enough fun for Victor?

Maybe. I think I might’ve neglected him a little bit so I could pay more attention to the seventh graders. Victor was a returning 8th grader, so I was expecting him to already be adjusted to the Breakthrough atmosphere and spirit.

And I remember this one particular time, I kinda just shut him out. Somehow, during lunch the topic of Prop 8 came up. I didn’t bring it up; I’m not supposed to “open doors.” Victor, a few other students and I were pondering the mindbender (riddle) of the day, which went something like, “Two fathers and two sons each caught a fish, making three fish total. How is this possible?”

A student piped up, “Are the two fathers gay?!?!” Another replied, “Isn’t that illegal?”

I answered not in California, but then Victor jumped in and steered the rest of the conversation from there. He ranted about how the proposition was so messed up and how he couldn’t believe it passed. “It’s so unfair,” he said, and he found a few more different ways of repeating that. At this point, the other students have stopped talking, and I felt awkward.

Gay—it’s a Breakthrough taboo thing (as it is in lots of places). I remembered what Kathy told me about not “opening any doors” for the middle school students, so I didn’t open any. I muttered, “Yeah, yep, uh-huh, okay—Have you guys seen Up yet? It’s a good movie.”

That got the rest of the students to talk again, but it silenced Victor. Last winter, he first asked me if I was dating Trung and reassured me that he was absolutely fine with it, and now he brought up the topic of Prop 8 all in my face. His “doors” were already open, and I had just slammed them shut.

I don’t attribute this incident to the sole reason he left, but I wonder, would he have stayed if I had been generally more open with him?